After a three month hiatus from blog posts and a much-needed brain break, I’m back!
This month and a half of unemployment has reminded me of summers in middle school (other than the hormones, drama, and curfew). For the first time in a long time, I’ve had no schedule, no deadlines, no alarm clock. As a planner, having no routine isn’t exactly my favorite…but I’ve learned a lot during this in between time.
I’ve learned that I am just not skilled with desserts that require saucepans.
Exhibit A: The raspberry cream pie I attempted to make for my sister’s first day of class.
This isn’t the first saucepan dessert that I’ve butchered. I’ll spare you the details, but know the last time it ended in flames, a new saucepan, and a scar-shaped reminder on my finger. That must mean that the raspberry pie was an improvement, right? It was at least edible…
I’ve also learned that I actually enjoy a lot of activities that seemed like tasks on a checklist while in school. I forgot that I enjoy reading for pleasure, long talks with friends, sipping hot tea, and walking my dog. I forgot that a trip can actually be relaxing and morning interruptions from family are beautiful.
I was also reminded of how gracious God is to provide…again.
This month I first saw His provision with jobs. I saw interviews and job offers come. I saw odd jobs arise during this in between time. I saw gifts come in unexpectedly. I saw friends and family reach out.
I also saw this provision in my to-do list. I had the unique opportunity to accomplish those low-priority projects that never actually get done during the busyness of life. I saw His provision as I organized my pictures from the last season, reflecting on how He provided friends, funds, and an education the past two years.
The next project where I saw His provision was preparing bags for the homeless. I’m ashamed to say that this is a project that I’ve meant to do for over five years. This month I actually did it. The project started by using some brown paper bags and string I had. Next, I went to the store to buy some items to give out when I see someone in need. Here’s where the learning got tough. I had an idea of what I wanted to purchase at the store, knowing some items that might be helpful and affordable. When I got there, I was overwhelmed by the items that someone in need might be lacking. I was brought to tears thinking about not having a toothbrush or medicine or breakfast. I thought about how abundantly the Lord has provided for my needs. After an emotional trip down every aisle in the store, I decided on beef jerky, peanutbutter crackers, bottled water, tube socks, and a few Bible verses. Though my bags are grossly inadequate, I was grateful for the Lord’s provision to allow me to make them. After packing forty or so neatly into my car, I found the learning would only continue. Instead of avoiding each person on the corner, excusing myself because I had no cash or didn’t want to enable them, I now look at each person wondering if they’re someone the Lord wants me to hand a bag. Whether I end up giving them a bag or not, the bags prompt me to pray and care about each person I see on the corner. I see them as people. Though I may have said that previously, I’m ashamed to say that just wasn’t the case until this month.
So, again, God reminds me of His provision. His provision of opportunity, His provision of needs, His provision of grace.